I met her in the 2nd grade. CeCe just moved here from Canada with her family. I spotted the new girl right away as we stood in line waiting to go into school that morning. I turned around and waved at her, she waved right back with a big smile. How many people can honestly say they remember the exact moment when they met their chidhood bestfriend. This story is not about her or our friendship. We were inseperable. We would walk to school and home from school together and then spend the after school hours playing together.. sometimes my house, sometimes her house. I had a TV, she did not - so she loved to come over and watch TV. I was so bored with TV that I wanted to go outside and play and explore. CeCe had two older sisters and one older brother, Roger. I have to admit, I was jealous. I did have older brothers and sisters but they were much older and already living on their own. I was really an only child in the house with older parents. CeCe's house was lively. There was always lots of noise. Her mom was a stay at home mom, the Little House on the Praire kind of mom.
One day after school we all decided to play hide and seek. A favorite childhood game to most children. I loved this game mostly because I didn't have the chance to play it very much, living at home with no other children. I was thrilled. CeCe's older brother Roger, decided to hide with me. Roger was 15 at the time. I can't to this day, remember his face. All I can remember is his hands. I remember sitting on his lap on the stairs to her cellar as we were hiding. He began to run the inside of my thighs with his big hands. He rubbed back and forth, never saying a word. We never spoke during that time. I remember thinking, this is weird. I remember having that sick feeling in my tummy and being so confused. Right after that, we were found by CeCe's older sister Sam and I decided just to go home.
I wish i could tell you, if it happened again. In my mind, I feel like it did. I just can't plain remember. That one moment sticks out in my mind. Did I block out the rest? I don't know. We didn't see her brother much after that summer. He found a girlfriend and continued on his teenage life... I often wonder if he did that to his sisters... I have NEVER said a word of this to anyone, ever. I blocked it out of my mind for a long time and then one day, I saw it happening. I played the scene in my head - and all I can see are those hands.
This would start a train wreck of events that would deeply shape my life for the future.
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